


Tormented Love Poetry of Feanor, The

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon - Outstanding AU/reinterpretation, Characters - OOC to good purpose, Humor, Writing - Good use of humor, Years of the Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2003-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3782524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feanor writes love poetry to Galadriel (or more like her hair). Beware my talent for bad poems! story with (abominable) poetry laced throughout</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

_Oh maiden fair_  
who has great hair  
Why do I love thee so?  
Perhaps it is your eyes  
'tis I they always surprise.  
Or maybe it's your feet  
When you're dancing they never miss a beat. 

"Oh, for the love of Eru!" muttered a rather exasperated Galadriel. "I can't even finish this one it's so bad." She tossed the now crumpled up parchment into the fireplace, secretly relishing the smell of it burning. "I just wish Feanor would stop sending me this ..." she hesitated to give the title of 'poetry' to the abomination of words she'd just witnessed. "I mean, he IS my uncle." A shudder ran down her spine as she thought of this rather unsettling fact. Just then, she heard a knock at the door.

"Singing telegram for Artanis from Feanaro," said the man at the door. Before she could even find a blunt object to hit him over the head with, he began to sing.  
" _My golden gem, my princess fair; oh would you smile for me? To see your teeth, so pearly white-_ " A muffled thud was heard and the singing abruptly stopped.With a smug look of satisfaction, Galadriel looked at the messanger, who was now lying unconcious on the ground.  
"Oops," she said innocently, hiding a large stone paperweight behind her back.


	2. More poems and Galadriel replies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feanor writes love poetry to Galadriel (or more like her hair). Beware my talent for bad poems! story with (abominable) poetry laced throughout

Dear Diary,  
Feanor sent more poetry today. I hate to put anyone through the sheer horror of reading it, but I need to just get it off my chest. Here's just a couple of the poems I received.

_My darling,_  
My beloved,  
My sugarplum.  
Oh how you excite my heart.  
It skips a beat whenever you come near.  
It stops beating whenever you hair is here. 

No, wait; there's more! Oh joy.

_Roses are red,_  
Violets are blue,  
My gems are golden,  
And your hair is too. 

What is it with this guy and my hair?!?! You think he'd get over it after a while, but noooo. I think this last one's the worst.

_Oh my love, Oh maiden fair._  
Let me have one lock of hair.  
I'll treasure it always, even in my sleep.  
For thine hair is finer than wool of sheep. 

Sheep? SHEEP?!?! Perhaps I should write back. Maybe I'll say something like ...

_Sweet uncle dear,_  
whom my hair does fear,  
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!


End file.
